Joma I love you

"Can we go to Joma for lunch?" "Do they have a Joma in Luang Prabang?" Oh yes, how did we ever survive without Joma. Joma is officially our favourite hangout in Laos. It's like Starbucks of Laos. But a hundred times better. I've had their brownie, choc chip cookies, choc chip muffin, apple and bran oatmeal muffin, apple pie, lemonade, tuna foccacia sandwich........ Yeah..... Joma is good.

We went elephant trekking and bathing yesterday. Tristan and I got Orla Thai, a 19 year old beauty that we nicknamed Chubbs on account of her neverending snacking on greens. Steve got a renegade that often decided to do his/her own thang and named him/her Rambo 4x4. Adam and Sophie got the docile and sweet Humphrey. Slow Nelly was temporarily adopted by Mark and Christina. I skipped the elephant bathing and was the official photographer for the occasion. I'm being eaten alive by the mozzies (and some spiders), literally and did not fancy going into the river where I would inevitably become the next late afternoon snack for the water-dwelling beasties. I don't understand why? Why me!! No one else has been bitten as much as me. I've also started drinking lemongrass tea. Apparently lemongrass is a potent mozzy repellent. Pfftt!!!! Rubbish. Phil reckons that I have a high likelihood of being bitten by a malaria-carrying bug. You don't say? Thanks Uncle Philly. I've been taking my malarial pills and eating my 5 -a-day and praying to God. Hopefully they will provide sufficient protection. We also went to the waterfalls. Standing infront of the waterfalls, with the cool air blasting from the cascading water, I forgot about my lousy bites and remembered how much I loved it here and how much fun I've been having with the guys.

We went to a cool place for dinner last night where we had to bbq and cook our own dinner. It was hard and sweaty work, sitting there with the bbq set infront of us on the table. But it was delish. Later we went ten-pin bowling. Half of Luang Prabang was there. I was sh*t. I reckon the mozzies have sucked out more than just my pure healthy alcohol-caffiene-meat- free blood. They've sapped me of my bowling prowess. This blows. I hate losing.

I'm off to the spa for a massage. Later, sunset viewing from the top of a hill. Tomorrow, up the Mekong in a boat to Thailand. I could go on travelling forever.

We're in Laos

We went to the gym yesterday. A bunch of us were suffering from a serious lack-of-exercise-itis, so after we were done with harrassing monks in orange robes for photo ops and other usual touristy stuff in Vientiane, the capital of Laos, we headed to the local gym. It was invigorating. And then to finish it off I had a traditional Laos massage. Are you jealous?

So, Laos huh? It's totally chilled out and peaceful here and makes a nice change from the manically crazy Hanoi. People are a lot nicer. But a lot more complacent too. Don't expect to get your starter before your mains, and your rice with your curry. Actually, Vietnam was just as bad. Sometimes they even forgot our order. Customer satisfaction ain't a priority in this neck of the woods. The scenery here in Laos is more dramatic but just as sublime as Vietnam, with dangerous winding roads built into the side of the mountains, linking us between our destinations. If you suffer from motion sickness, best to find another way of getting between towns.

Today we're in Vang Vieng. Tomorrow we head to Luang Prabang. I can't wait. It feels like the main reason people come here is to get pissed and high (sorry if you're reading this travel buddies, just my opinion). I guess if that's your kinda thing then this is the perfect place to be. Thankfully the landscape and the outdoor activities that they have here (caving, kayaking etc) make up for it.

We've been having a lot of oreos on this trip. Is it possible to OD on oreos? The peanut butter and choc one is especially yummy. I still have some brownie left from earlier today. I think I should have the rest of it later.

Good bye Vietnam

It's our last day in Hanoi. And Vietnam. Getting around here is a nightmare. There are no recognisable landmarks and the shops all look the same. Basically, I keep getting lost. And having a map that is wrong didn't help either (this has been confirmed by 2 other people in my group so it's not just my inept orienteering skills that keep me going in the wrong direction). You walk down one street and every single shop is selling door handles and then you turn right and all the shops are selling toys, another one just sells herbs, or clothes or DVDs etc etc and then when you think you've got it all figured out, you end up on a street predominantly used for washing motorbikes! Where the hell is the hotel?!! And the motorbike taxis are relentless. They keep harrassing you to take them and the taxis try to bamboozle you with astronomic fares. I've taken to ignoring them now or just shouting "No thank you!". I'm glad we're leaving for Laos tomorrow. Unfortunately, it also means we're losing a quarter of the group. Jake and Sarah are doing Laos on their own, Lee is staying in Hanoi for a few more days and is then off to Japan and Dom is off to the full moon party in Thailand. It'll feel quite strange.

Enough moaning about Hanoi. Let me tell you about my motorbike tour of Hue. Whizzing through Vietnamese houses in the countryside and local markets selling ducks in non-RSPCA conditions and muddy paths lining the high-definition green paddy fields of Hue, you're transported into a completely different world inhabited by people doing back-breaking work to make ends meet and kids running alongside you and waving hello. Vietnam is beautiful. Have I said that already? It's so unbelievably beautiful and I can't help thinking that it's all a dream that I'm here. Can't say the same for some of the people though......

One of the highlights of Vietnam was our boat trip to Halong Bay. Halong Bay is otherworldly and divine, its 300 islands covered in mist so thick and forests so green, you can almost believe that some mystical dragon is lying dormant in one of the many underground caves and lagoons. Sitting at the front of the boat with my feet dangling over the edge and the breeze in my face and hair, I didn't want the ride to end. I suggested we commandeer the boat. Everyone agreed.... Yeah, that was the extent of our attempted mutiny.

I've been using SPF 50+. Fat lot of good it's been doing. I'm so brown now.

We're going to a water puppet show tonight. Laters dudes!

Dreamy Hoi An

Hoi An is enchanting. Getting lost in the maze of narrow alleys and walking under bouganvilleas and native trees in bloom, you can't help but fall in love with this little town. The architecture is divine, with buildings indicative of the town's French and Chinese colonial past, painted in canary yellow that has aged beautifully. The atmosphere is dreamy and the locals more friendly and relaxed than those in Saigon. At night, the streets are softly lit with lanterns, with people strolling to music and laughter floating out from the bars and restaurants.

Sophie and I decided to rent bikes for the day (Sophie cracks me up, great fun having her around). We got lost (my fault as usual) and had a lot of fun cycling and finding our way back. We stumbled onto what I think was some of the local boys' football "hangout" near the river. They didn't look too pleased and as Sophie tried to make some friendly small talk, one of them just said "Bye bye". Charming. A lot like the boys back home.

We're leaving tomorrow for Hue. I don't want to leave. It's beautiful here. I'm definitely coming back if I can. Thankfully, no night train this time. The last train was not like the first one we took......... I avoided the toilets.

Hot and noisy Nha Trang

Most of the gang are heading to the mudbaths later today. I think I'll skip it and explore this "sleepy" seaside town before we catch the train to Hoi An tonight. I don't think I've been to a beach town that's so manic with activity. The beach is glorious and you can see islands covered in lush green mountains in the distance. It's a lot nicer than the one in Cambodia. Mainly because the kids were in the sea enjoying themselves rather than out pestering me and near-molesting me to buy their goods.

We're catching another night train tonight to Hoi An. The loos weren't too bad last time so there's no need to dehydrate myself. But I think we're going to be the second/third set of people sleeping in the unmade bunks...... I'm sleeping in my anti-bacterial, anti-mozzy, anti-plague, cotton tropical sleeping bag anti-radiation liner. And if the deet actually worked, I would also impregnate myself with it. But seeing as I have almost a fifth of my body covered in mozzy bites, something tells me they're sh*t.

Ok, time to get lost exploring.

Miss Saigon

Been listening to some hip-hop that my bro uploaded for me. I'm digging The Roots. Organix is an ace album. I ate chocolate for the first time yesterday since 27th May. For those of you who know me very well, this is very uncharacteristic behaviour. I'd like to say that it's due to my iron-clad self-control, but the truth is that 1) people don't eat much choc here so distribution is very limited, and 2) I've just been too hot to bother with choc. But I relented yesterday and have had a whole bag of M&Ms, 2 muffins and a lemon zest cake. All in less than 24 hours. Business as usual. I'm also waiting for my laundry. I'm down to my last pair of trousers. They're too big now. I've had to pin them in 3 places to maintain my modesty (I think we've all lost a bit of weight). I'm excited about getting fresh laundry today.

Saigon is f****ing mental!!! The city is HEAVING with motorbikes. And there are no traffic lights. You just have to walk into the traffic (after praying to whoever you believe in) and presto, the drivers will weave around you. Of course there are a few randomers who have not read the vietnamese highway code so you do the avoiding. I'm liking it here. It's buzzing and bustling like central London. And feels a lot safer than Phnom Penh. For some reason, the people seem to like building super-skinny buildings (Amsterdam style) in Art Deco fashion. Weird. Steve's theory is they tax based on width of building. Plausible I suppose.

We're getting the overnight train to Nha Trang tonight. Have heard stories of floorless toilets and dirty bunks..... 

I'm looking forward to my clean laundry.

Adagio- Barber

I've decided. I'm getting a scooter for Cologne. Specifically a purple vespa (if I can). They ride their scooters here the way I ride my bike in Oxford- reckless, fast-ish and "determined". So, I reckon it'll be muchos easy to drive in Germany right?

I rode a motorbike/scooter for the first time today. It was awesome! Sitting behind the driver, we rode up to the top of the mountain and saw the village of Chau Doc (a border town in Vietnam), surrounded by green mountains covered in foreboding grey clouds. The ride down was not particularly dry. We each had a driver. Mine wasn't the chatty type. Apart from "You ok?" when we started going up the mountain, we rode in companiable silence. Tristan's just giggled all the way. Tristan was terrified. The other drivers were trying to race each other on a single lane-two way road. Mine wanted in on it too. I told him to go faster but he just smiled. Luckily, using my telepathic powers, we came third.

The people of Vietnam look very different from those of Cambodians. They look more Chinese. Cambodians also had a more reddish tint to their tan. I have yet to be asked if I'm Vietnamese. I don't think it'll happen. But I'm going to be Honduran next time they're nosy.

We drive to Hoi Chi Minh tomorrow. Another 8 hour drive. This is turning out to be "Indochina on a bus". But the scenery is so unbelievably sublime and lush, it's worth it.

Ok, my hour is almost up. Short crew profiles:
there are 12 people-
Phil= the boss
Steve= the assistant/ surfer dude from Canadia/ "Hey, do you want me to teach you something?"
Tristan= Financial Economist sarky joker/ always hungry/ snoozer
Hannah= Northern Lass "Blondie"
Sophie= Posh (near) London Babe
Dominic= Boy from the North (Manchester) 1
Adam= Boy from the North (Sheffield) 2
Jake and Sarah= Couple 1
Christina and Mark= Couple 2

Time up!! Laters muchachos and muchachas.